17. Best Word ‘09

Word or phrase. A word that encapsulates your year. "2009 was _____."

Two thousand nine, 2009, was … mine.

That is, it belonged to me, to do with whatever I liked.  2009 depended only upon myself. 

It has been the first full calendar year since my teen years that I have not been caught up in “a relationship with” someone (or, occasionally, several someones) .  Since the age of 12 or so I have always had a person that I was “going out with” (or “seeing” or “married to” or “partner of”, “living with”) in a way that amounted to more than just “dating”.  Always, I was part of a combined entity. There were brief periods when I was not in “a couple” but never adding up to a whole year.
2009, for me, lacked any semi-permanent type of romantic relationship at all. (Consequently, and sadly, there has been way too little sex).

That pattern of behavior clearly means that I’m a relationship-junkie; always ready to fall into the next one.  That habit has been broken this year; I’ve had to go cold turkey; perhaps not a bad thing.
Not that I’m entirely cured; I am undoubtedly ready to fall into the next relationship – but have not found any cooperative partners.

Or, perhaps I am cured.  I’m entirely happy with myself, confident, feeling good, in a way that is unfamiliar.  Quite pleasant in fact.  And I pretty certain that this happiness, this new state of mind, will infuse my next relationship in new and interesting ways.
So, when that next relationship happens, it happens; I’m not anxious about it – I’m going to be careful to not dive in without looking – and it will be great.

No comments: